I have an egg
(reveal the egg)
Look…
Oh egg - what is in my egg?
Mysterious egg – give me your secrets!
You are smooth, my eggy, smooth and pink like a pink woman. Sensual, curvacious, a smooth, thin, pink woman – egg, I think I love you.
(look at egg)Qiuet my love? Why so silent, so hard, so impenetrable. Are you my mother?No – maybe you are like a baby, little egg. Babies are good, when they are quiet. And you are so quiet, and good. You are good for daddy aren’t you, yes. You’re a good egg.(hold egg up)Or perhaps you are a bad egg! Bad egg! You shell has hell, but your white has it and you yolk, has, (wobble) ‘yo’. (aside) Did you see what I did there? Didn’t really hang together all the way through I realise but I think it did ok. Stay with me. (to self) They’re still with me, still with me.
Oh egg! Your shell is like a pocket cathederal! Your innards a mystery soup! And six of you for less than a pound! What is inside you? A little hen? Jesus? A big cock?Egg, magic fruit of a chicken’s arsehole, you flower of perfection. Everything nature knows is hidden in you and has gone to make you, her secret language speaks through you to me and I worship you, as, down the ages, so many have done before. But what now? How to consecrate my feelings? How to absorb your wisdom? (Nod sagely to self) With chips, my young friend - with brown sauce and chips.
I leave now! (Throw egg at the audience and run.)