advanced humanity

I have now done the washing up. I suppose if I'm going to tell you about the brandy I found in the kitchen I should also tell you about the weed I have been smoking for about the last four days. oops. It does lay the foundations of the ideal way to leave this house - by staying up through the night on a 'cocktail of drugs' stumbling about only to emerge somehow victorious in the morning. The thought of failure is impossible - nights last forever and on some level I feel I'd be failing myself if I didn't stay up all the way until tomorrow...

This night is an all nighter. Part moving house, part putting things in boxes, part viking funeral, part ordeal by fire, re-birth, part fighting demons, part one-man leaving party. Going out in a stumble of glory.

The reason this is fitting? Moving coincides with a lot of changes, some made and some not yet made but planned. Mainly the reason it is fitting is because of the sheer vast amount of weed smoked and sleep lost in the flat. This is not a boast, or an indication of constant partying, this is long-term, problematic reliance on smoking. It's time to stop, but not tonight, one more night of breaking the rules in a childish kind of way, then off. Weed has been a big part of my life, good or bad, but enough's enough. Of course opium for breakfast stays, you get that William Burroughs fizz that sets you up for the whole day.

global warming

Global warming is a big pain isn't it? Icebergs in the park and all that. You know what the solution is? If we all just left our fridge doors open. That would fix it.

run to the hills

my phone has a torch in it (thanks Sony!) which is sometimes useful. I first used it trying to read a bus timetable in the alps. It was night-time so that was appropriate. I noticed it had several settings - On, On for a Minute and SOS. How useful, I thought, and gazed up at the looming mass of mountain silhouetted in the darkness. Imagining myself alone and freezing on the hillside, huddling up to myself for warmth and clutching my only hope for survival - my freezing fingers needing not the dexterity to tap out the message, nor my mind the clarity to remember it. Sony would keep me provided for on my lonely vigil up there on the mountainside until such time as I remembered I was holding a phone.

ukulele ideas

anarchy in the uk/bohemian rhapsody (vegetable) medley

prince charming by adam and the ants - as a slob
stand and deliver - live record multi track vocals :)

creep
smells like teen spirit

Interdisciplinary Political Meeting

Chair: Welcome everyone. I'd like to make a start on this, our first meeting of the Interdisciplinary Political group. There's a wide range of people here, so I think we should begin with some introductions. So, from my left, name and political affiliation please.

Klaus: Klaus Kingzeit, Constitutional Monarchist
Robert: Robert Leftfield, British Free Market Ecology Party
Finella: Finella Scales, Nanny State Victory Alliance
Peter: Peter Piper, Picked a Pickled Pepper Party
Susan: Susan Greenfield, Old Labour Party Party

Emanual :Emanual Goldberg, Nazi Party. Zieg-ies! (camp salute)

Chair: Nazi Party? That's a bit much isn't it?
(rumbles from the audience)

E: We're all friends now, right?

C: I'm not entirely sure, there are standards you know.

E: Well I like that. We're a lot more open these days you know, we are trying.

C: ...

E: For example, we have an outreach programme.

C: Outreach?

E: Yes, it's quite multicultural you know. These days we actually except ethnic Austrians.

Robert: Wasn't Hitler an Austrian?

E: Yes he was, that why we thought it would be a nice place to start. Up until now he was the only one you see. It must have been quite lonely for him. In fact it probably had something to do with why he had all those people killed.

R: The Jews?

E: No, the Austrians. You see he was the only one. Probably put a bit of a strain on him. What with the cultural isolation of being forced to live in Germany and all that.

R: He did kill a lot of Jewish people though, I'm not sure it would be enough just to blame it on him feeling isolated.

E: Oh I'm very sorry, I misunderstood you. Well let me say this, it was a world war - it was open to all. I mean let's be honest we killed a lot of people and I think it's a little unfair to focus on the Jews all the time. Besides, times change.

K: I'm Austrian.

E: Oh fantastic, you must let me give you a pamphlet. You're not Jewish are you?

K: As a matter of fact I am.

E: Oh that's even better - we have a version in yiddish that we've only recently had printed. Would you like one?

K: Thank you.

Susan: Excuse, but just how much of hate figure are you planning to become in this group?

E: Well, it's an unpleasant job, but someone has to do it. It's better than not getting involved and having nothing to do. I mean, 'Work Makes You Free' and all that... I think we all know the truth of that.

S: You disgust me.

Chair: Now hold on Susan, I suppose the reason we are here is to try and see if some kind of shared vision is possible between all schools of political thought, however we feel about them. In order for that to happen we must let each person state their views and challenge them with argument. That is the only way it is possible to reach a lasting consensus.

E: Is there no room for an overwhelming mechanised assault to sweep through this plenary session and crush all opposition before it?

C: Certainly not very much.

E: What about flowers? We did think about that. We've been trying to think a bit 'out of the box' recently. Would that work?

C: That is more approachable certainly, but have you thought about hay fever?

E: We're really trying to avoid biological weaponry at the moment.

C: Well I must say that's good to hear. I'm really not sure we could tolerate that kind of thing. I hope you understand.

E: Well, of course. I mean you're either with us or against us, right?

C: I suppose so.

E: Well I suppose that's all I have to say for now then. Thank you everyone.

C: Right. Well, thank you Emanuel. Now, perhaps we should continue with the introductions. I see Janet is waiting with the coffee cart even as we speak.

James Bond and the age of accessibility

The Man With The Orange Sticker
On Her Majesty's Secret Shoprider
Tomorrow Never Sleeps Properly
The Spy Who Dressed Me
No Finger
Licence To Park Closer To The Building
Never Say Spazzer Again
The Ground Floor Is Not Enough
For Your Eyes Only
Dr, No
Glasseye
Octopussy

hello world

Eat my Chicken - it's chicken flavoured, and that's about as much as you can hope for at this stage.